I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
