just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
