True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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