it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
