Your face is a jimmy john
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
