Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
