Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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