I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I wear drunk well.
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