Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
