Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
