Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize