That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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