it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
