i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
