love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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