Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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