I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
