i jhust puked up my retainher.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize