Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
