If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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