can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
