Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
