there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
