Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
