Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize