this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
