Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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