We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
