You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
