Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
