You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
