I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
