Ambien. No doubt about it.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize