i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
