Dude my mom stole all your condoms
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
