he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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