She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
