I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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