FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
