I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
