Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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