batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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