I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
