OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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