are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
