So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
