oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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