I can tuck mytits in my pants
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
