i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize