Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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