I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
