do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
