woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
