one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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