I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
