My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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