Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
