The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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