why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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