I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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