Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
