spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he shaved USA in his pubs
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
honey bunches of taint.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
