I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
