But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
