apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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