The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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