So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
