Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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